ALLL RIGGHHTT! As promised to -ben, here is his last troll piece for this blog. Folks, take it in jest. I had a good laugh, and pleinelune too. Presenting the one and only -ben, in response to my last comment on the previous post in troll fashion! I like the last part. It’s just so tongue-in-cheek. And he didn’t forget the postscript battle too!
Well I just copied and pasted it, but, I promised to put it up as a post and so I did =)
As a summary, this is what happened.
1. He trolled one of my posts (on abbreviations).
2. I got mighty pissed, this being a serious blog.
3. It continued for a while and culminated in this post on my blog and that on his.
4. I see that post and realise what he’s getting at.
5. I acknowledge the correct pointing out that I lack a sense of humour, and that he picked a good post to tear apart – the abbreviations post was not in very good taste.
6. Thus, in being fair, I give him a spot and tell him to make it the best troll post ever of his life (because this is after all a serious blog and I’m not going to let his posts through anymore).
7. Hilarity ensues below.
8. Enjoy.
And no, in case any of you folks were wondering, I do not wear over-stretched spandex shorts.
—–
Doesn’t mean I have to play though.
After all that work?

What do you think I’m?
Jake DeSantis?
Are Singaporeans that uncharitable?
Can’t you at least even pretend to be angry?
Like… I’m dying here — throw me a bone, man!
Unlike you I remember that there are real people behind the screen.
I take offense to that. If I didn’t know that, you think I’d have lifetime subscription plans to webcam girls? I maybe a troll, but I certainly can tell the difference between real people and hentai, ok?
Do you feel the need to denigrate other people
Umm… I think that falls under the general definition of a troll.
2. I neither know nor care who Gary Ng is.
Gary Ng? Gary Ng is to males what Octo-Mom is to females, except that while she receives, he gives.
3. I neither know nor care who sieteocho is. You can hunt him down youself.
I think sieteocho just re-appeared. Something about expensive Vietnamese brides and cheap lube 
http://tomorrow.sg/node/view/9715#comment-6478933
Finally, get over it already, and stop stalking me online. TWO YEARS! You still haven’t got over Pleinlune’s blog? zomgwtfbbq
Dang it.
Stop painting me as a stalker.
Umm… I don’t even know who you are, nor do I wish to.
(No, seriously. Unless you’re Felicia Chin’s godbrother or something…)
Like I said, I’m bored, sieteocho has gone missing (damn fool last mentioned something about digging through a dam with a shovel in Jakarta or something), so I went through logs of our old tussles…
…and there you were 
As for pleinelune…
I mean, honestly, who can ever get over that gal?
The diva-fashionista-one-hot-mama is forever prancing on and on about handbags, shoes, make up, epilators, vibra… err… moving on…, sweat-soaked tank tops heaving under the burden of 10 km marathons and swaying rain dances; gushing and prophetizing over TV plots, MTV plots, love plots with other girls (hubba! hubba!), lap dances, chiquita bonita Tila Tequila, LAWR and sex; with the occasional manicure-ruining, hair-ripping, make up smudging gripefest about memoirs, essays, exams, murderous professors (the sort that make you wanna stick a knife in their back and then throw yourself off a building), modules, fondues (and how they add on to her non-existent waistline); while cursing Heidi Klum, Kelman, Thio, associated rectum-pillager haters, and non-Obama supporters to eternal damnation. She’s every geek’s dream come true! But sigh… she won’t gimme the time of the day. And all this even though we have mutual friends
(Oh, yes, we do, pleinelune, if you’re reading this. Surprise! Surprise!) So, the next best thing is to gather more mutual acquaintances to perhaps change her mind, and not discriminate against me just coz I’m one of those repressed, chauvinistic, Singaporeans who — through no fault of his own — happens to be a natural law theorist…
…and there you were 
I’d buy her brain ( http://pleinelune.wordpress.com/2008/03/04/because-we-all-need-to-laugh-at-ourselves ), but I like the rest of her too 
I will block further attempts though so it’d better be good. Oh, I’m feeding the troll, gasp.
What?
NOOO000ooo!!!
I bet you’ve been talking to sieteocho, and this is his idea, that no good, bean-counting, penny ante, antisocial jerk 
Let me quote a partial definition:
“Trolling is a game about identity deception, albeit one that is played without the consent of most of the players.” (Judith S. Donath)
Oh, I’m feeding the troll, gasp
No, you’re not. Feeding the troll means getting all riled up, worked up, blood pressure skyrocketing, unable to sleep, and complaining to anyone who would listen on the internet (kinda like sieteocho doing a Robert Ho impression on Tomorrow.sg). You are not. Dude, what you are doing is like giving Kryptonite to Superman. You are supposed to get angry, mmmmkay?
Btw about your post, I’m not trying to steamroll you, I’m just…,/i>
See? See? You are not getting it! No explanations! Just get angry! Like look like an über starved big bird, bald from stress-induced hair loss, and threaten to chop my balls off or something. See example below:
http://tomorrow.sg/comment/view/11443
So far I’ve been kind to you *gives you an angry face*.
Honestly, man… I don’t think you’re allowed to make a troll work so hard for so little.
In the case of your comment about NTU – I did not share the same sentiment, or exactly the same sentiment, as you.
What?
How can you not?
The misspelling was hilarious!
[Hey, I like NTU too! I often go there on weekend mornings to heckle passing spandex-clad, logo-emblazoned, pretentious, cliquish, Lance JuiceStrong wannabe poser cyclists — hurtling along at the mind-numbing speed of 3.2 km/h (2 mph) — with screams of, "Yo! Yo Yo! Your pants are too tight! TOO TIGHT!" ... right before they get, oh, overtaken by foreign workers on Urata bikes.
So... yeah.... Set up an outdoor espresso bar on campus to attract more of those atas closet-crossdressers-on-wheels or something. Trolls (and hecklers) love caffeine.]
Hmm… Okay, gotta give you that: differences. Differences. (But you must agree that some people just don’t belong in — over-stretched — spandex, no?)
(Note: if you do indeed wear over-stretched spandex shorts, I get bonus points.)
4. Didn’t you realise the café invitation was sarcastic.
What?
So, no free coffee? (You do realize that this exchange is fueled by overdoses of caffeine, right?)
I know the New York is expensive and world economy is in recession but this is getting ridiculous…
Cheapskate.
*grumble*
This is that penny-pinching, car-transmission-destroying, stall-on-parking-lot-ramp-and-freak-out, sieoteocho’s doing again, isn’ it?
Hahaha… okok I give you time. Haha I manage to stress you ah! Can I count that as +1 for me lol.
Wah gan! You think this is power-leveling ah? Like that also can!!
-ben
P.S. (ow, yeah! Just one!
)
———
[9:23 AM]
CHERYL: MORNING CUZZ!
BEN: mornin
CHERYL: how r u my sporty cuzz?
BEN: oh, ok loh, was trying to troll some dude, but he stopped playing after 2 posts.
He stopped getting angry, and is now playing along and laughing instead. He just doesn’t get it. He is supposed to get angry — which makes me laugh. Him laughing doesn’t make me laugh. All that work for nothing. Chey!
CHERYL: hai yoh u ah..all out to kacau ppl again ah
BEN: HAAHHAHAA
CHERYL i feel like sleeping
BEN:ya, i was bored coz a little tired from juggling work and doing ride reports, so i found this link from an old heated online discussion. His blog address was on it, so I went to his blog to stir trouble. Now he not only calls me a stalker, but declares that I am harmless as well

this is terrible!
I have a reputation to maintain!
How can he do this to me?
must… find… new… victims… sigh
CHERYL: hahahahahahhahaahhaa
failed ur mission ah
BEN:: yeah man
what is worse
he is mocking me
i mean
i am a mok!
i do the mocking
he is saying, “ok, i give you ONE CHANCE. ONE ONLY. To post one more troll on my blog. It better be good. It better be your best. Coz’ that’s it. After that, I’m ignoring you.”
CHERYL: lolz
wat rubbish! hahahaha
BEN: I’m the one who should be dishing out the stress here. Not him!
WTF, man? Talk about performance anxiety! He think this is Eminem song ah?
CHERYL: LOLOLOLOL
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All right, back to the regularly scheduled serious posts. End.